welcome to my journal! ^_^
I went to my first furry con last week, there was all sorts of events and art to buy. it was really easy to make friends and was so safe. the dj sets were so fun. nobody yelled scary things at me, touched me, motioned me into their car, or ogled me. I... think i will gatekeep this. this is mine.
Tue Dec 09 2025 6:16pm
some guy on twitter said its weird to draw animals that are anthropomorphized - almost like it was a "gotcha" moment. i regret getting emotional and blocking, although, most people are not intelligent enough for an open dialogue anyway. i mean, how weird could it be? humans used to worship anthropomorphic animals, such as anubis the jackal. anyway, i fucking hate twitter. every social media app has been grossly gentrified to the point where its unusable. uhh, i could try bluesky?
Tue Dec 02 2025 10:51am
hello, dear old friend! i took a moment to reflect on my work. it appears unserious or playful, but maybe it will filter out those who don't take a moment to understand the subject matter. my art is my heart.
Mon Dec 01 2025 10:54pm
something in my heart is telling me to connect with my orthodox spirituality more. i just dont know how. i will have to ask my uncle, who is a monk, for some book recommendations. i simply do not have the time to meditate near an altar every sunday. God knows i would love it. I think i need to start by letting go of emotion, especially passionate ones.
Mon Nov 17 2025 12:48am
*walter white voice* someone cooked here. this scanned in beautifully.
Mon Nov 17 2025 12:43am
i know burnout is real because i am full of it. lol
Tue Nov 11 2025 6:49pm
im so stressed i might throw up. i am still dealing with the consequences of the choices i made a year ago. despite trying not to heave on the blue line, i dont wish my life was any different. why do i ever complain? we are all in this together.
Fri Oct 31 2025 4:47pm
i know true love exists because what i create is full of it :) i want my work to feel like a hug.
Wed Oct 29 2025 11:16pm
like God gifted humans consciousness, i gifted each little puppy with tiny little brains to make decisions of their own.
Wed Oct 29 2025 8:25pm
debating what i should do for my final project. its gonna be hard either way.
Wed Oct 29 2025 12:24pm
super bummed because i woke up really early, put my face on, did my hair, and started recording my day with my brand new camcorder. unfortunately, i lost all my footage because i forgot to set it to save files to the SD card. i am so so unbelievably bummed, i was really excited to make my first video documentary. i really enjoy engaging with the world this way. people act so different when a camera is involved and the majority of interactions are pleasant. anyway, i managed to get these little dogz done. thank the lord and savior Jesus Christ for spriters resource. awesome site.
Mon Oct 27 2025 6:40pm
do NOT ask me how my day was now i have to think about it. pissinf me off
Thur Oct 23 2025 2:28am
adolescent kitty lineart! yay ^_^
Wed Oct 15 2025 8:12pm
bodily autonomy can be challenged - but nobody can take willpower, creativity and love from you, or poison it under your nose, or place it on a sick objective scale.
moral of the story: never let a limp dick broke uneducated bitch tell you where the fuck your value lies. get PISSED and SHOW UP.
Wed Oct 15 2025 4:52pm
okay life does not rock and we are so not back. but i will continue to be persistant. i have so much life to live. the desire to create will always, without a doubt, outweigh the bad in life. willpower and self forgiveness is my strength.
Wed Oct 15 2025 10:03am
started up my mood stabilizers again, we're so back. live laugh love lamictal. also, my depop jesse pinkman shirt came in the mail. life rocks
Mon Oct 13 2025 7:00am
i started my little cat game world. ive always loved worldbuilding since i was child - i never wouldve thought i would have the tools and resources one day to breathe life into these universes, but here we are. God bless
Sat Oct 11 2025 9:24pm
im God you fucking cocksuckers. i programmed these shits into existence . each pixel icon hand crafted by ME like adam was made with mud and eve with the Rib, behaving with the rules I CREATED
Tue Oct 07 2025 3:25am
tweaking really hard off half a cig and dreamsicle energy drink. i WILL ask myself why i feel like garbage tomorrow
Sun Sep 28 2025 11:36pm
i was so brave today for not bursting into tears over this OOP shit for my midterm. i deserve a million dollars for not crying and making it weird for everyone. also the aesthetics of it looks so chopped. fuck my chud life
Wed Oct 1 2025 1:59pm
this is the image i will print out and trace on a lightboard for my project. looks a bit liminal, doesnt it? like youve been here before?
my midterm project proposal collaged into a piece titled "she didn't think of allat 💀". my cat sticks her tongue out when really focused like her mommy. the goal is to scroll down to this a year later and think to myself, "aww, cute, she tried so hard." hopefully by then i have my cat eugenics game in its beta stages.
Wed Sep 24 2025 7:29am
night walks are part of my routine before bed and i have some of the craziest revelations during them. i was thinking about furry stereotypes - a lot of them are programmers, gym rats, ravers, and artists. it dawned on me that i thoroughly enjoy all of those things and that i cant hide any longer. im like, actually a furry. so then i told my friends about it and they kind of responded to me like a gay child coming out to their generally accepting parents. they were like, yeah, i knew this before you did. whos a good puppy?
Sat Sep 20 2025 11:03pm
this professional practice class is making me want to rip my skin off. no additional comments.
Fri Sep 19 2025 3:42am
this was so stressful to figure out and took hours and hours but i was determined. doug, sorry in advance im late to your class. i hope everyone likes it ^_^ linked below is an additional p5.js exercise experimenting with noise algorithms, or "perlin"
Mon Sep 17 2025 8:49am
okay this shit is ass. i genuinely have no idea why i enjoy this. programming is kind of like a video game that makes you super angry but you still play it anyway because you really like it. i havent had much time to create new graphics that im proud of, so i dug up some old star stamps i made with lino that were scanned in. i was really thorough with my notes, so if i ever want to create something using the same mechanics, i will know what's going on. its not that it doesn't make sense, its just really hard to be a god and create your own rules and conditions and stuff, from scratch in your BRAIN, because if something isn't true, everything breaks :( i intend to push myself to create a sketch that combines several concepts that we were taught because i love my self and i KNOW i can do it!
Mon Sep 15 2025 9:58pm
i feel really bad. my professor is putting a lot of effort into teaching us advanced concepts in p5.js, like nested for loops, object oriented programming, and arrays. it just doesn't stick unless i use it for my own projects. it's my responsibility to make sure doug's lectures don't end in vain. so, im making brand new graphics to play with! i will probably put the pieces here.
Wed Sep 10 2025 1:05pm
wow, my first journal entry! i want to use this page to document some progress on what im working on. sometimes i tend to caught up with superficial things, like my appearance, or focusing too much on pain, or what's "wrong" with me. this page is going to help me recenter. focusing on things i enjoy, which are intertwined with core values of mine, takes me out of my anxious and restless mind. this is halfway-done linework of a puppygirl oc of mine named rosie. she's really adorable!
Wed Sep 10 2025 12:32pm